What were you like (as a person) BEFORE steroids compared to now?

[Jozifp103]

We all know steroids make you bigger and stronger.But what are the secondary effects they've had on your life and your personality? Surely there are mental side effects to injecting/ingesting androgenic sex hormones. Not to mention the mental/emotional changes that occur just from looking better and being bigger and stronger. Most of us try to stay humble but it's hard not to walk up with your head held high when you're the biggest guy in the room and have 5x as much testosterone in your system.

What were you like before all this? And how have you changed since? Were you the scrawny guy with low confidence? Were you already built with good confidence and just wanted to reach the next level? Were you an asshole who actually calmed down from steroids? <---(me), were you a nice, humble guy who turned into a douche nozzle? Have steroids made your life better/worse? You get the point.

[Jozifp103]

I'll start with my story...It's a long one. Don't feel the need to write a novel like this, I just wanted to share.

I was a skinny, angry, moderately-low self esteem teenager. I had a step father who was a screaming maniac and a sister 15 months younger than me who was into drugs and was always dating absolute shit bags. I had a smoking hot girlfriend which was my only claim to fame at the time and honestly it's only because we met when we were so young. She never would have dated me if she met me then.

I always felt behind the curve even since my early teens. I just couldn't understand how to be the "cool guy" and how to be confident and say the right things. I always just felt like I was behind everyone in maturity. This lack of confidence carried with me until college. I had plenty of friends and people liked me as "the funny guy" but I was never looked at as "the cool guy" or someone that females would look twice at. I am actually a pretty good looking guy, but my inability to just calm the fuck down and be cool kept me stuck in the funny guy zone. My girlfriend ended up going to the same college as me and I can tell college opened her eyes to the fact that she could do much better than me.

Fast forward to my junior year in college. Still with the same girlfriend who ended up going to the same school as me. Long story short she realized that she was hot shit and wanted to open her wings and explore college as a single hot female. After 5 1/2 years she left me. I couldn't blame her. I had nothing to offer her. I was a scrawny awkward guy who had nothing going for him other than being a goofball who was occasionally funny.

Between having my heart shoved through a meat grinder, my step father causing drama at home, and my sister throwing her life away, I had a total mental reset. I reached between my legs, and grabbed a hold of my balls to remind myself that I'm a goddamn man and I need to start acting like one (this actually happened, I was having a mental breakdown lol). I immediately started hitting the gym. At first it was just to feel better and occupy myself, then I started getting compliments after a few months and I was hooked.

Fast forward a few years and I'm on my first cycle. I felt the effects of testosterone for the first time. Some might not find the effects to be profound but for someone who has felt 1 inch tall their whole life it was like night and day for me. Now a decade later I am 80 lbs heavier, lean, have a great job, a smoking hot fiance, the respect of my peers, and overall I'm happy. The confidence I've gained is different than what I thought confidence would feel like. It's not just the confidence to talk to a woman or stand up for yourself....it's the confidence that I could accidentally stumble into a room of fortune 500 CEOs having a meeting and sit right down and fit right in with them. I have no problem approaching anyone. I can speak confidently and intelligently because I'm no longer nervous, and I know I have the respect of the person I'm talking to. I can tell you straight up that I owe the life I have to steroids. It sounds ridiculous but I never would have had the balls or the confidence to even take the chances I took to achieve what I have. I would have never had the courage to approach my fiance, I would have been to nervous to go for this job and I likely would have either failed the interview or been let go during the first few months because my job requires you to be confident and self assured. As weird as it sounds, steroids made me a better person and I owe pretty much everything I have to them.

Thanks for listening. Now your turn. Feel free to just write a few sentences lol. I went wayyy overboard.

[Jozifp103]

Cmon guys I just poured my heart out here lol.

[A.font817]

I was always a very skinny kid and never cared. Rode bmx for 5-6 years and that’s all I cared about was hitting the skate parks with my buddies and riding through downtown 30 deep.
I had a buddy that was also busting my balls to hit the gym with him in so skinny, I look like a girl all this bullshit. I know he was just busting my balls but it started to get annoying. Finally i agreed I’d give him 3 months and if I still didn’t like it I would leave and he would stop talking shit. Weeeeelllll I fell in love with it but felt so self conscience about how weak I was. I was barely benching 95lbs and weighed 125lbs.
Stuck with it for a year and eventually my buddy and I had different schedules and I linked up with another friend. Maybe I was 130-135lbs now. Well this friend introduced me to prohormones! Let me tell you did I love these things and I had no idea what I was doing at all. Put on 20lbs that year and was now bigger and stronger than my buddy that used to bust my balls. I was extremely cocky and a little prick because I thought I was the man being all of 160lbs by now!
As years went on I got involved in gear obv by linking up with all the big guys at the gym but these guys really humbled me and brought me back down to earth. I really appreciate what they did and how they took me under their wing the way they did. Some of these guys were older than my dad and we got along better than my current friends at the time. It was like a little brotherhood. We all lifted at the same gym at the same time and all hung around together. They understood what it was like they were my age before but they gave me the check I needed to show me it’s not how big or how strong or even how much you know but how can you use all this to help others better themselves as we did for you. Most of these guys I still talk to today and we always laugh about when we first met and how I like all the old school body builders they do. That’s why I always try to help some of the new guys in the gym because I was there at one point and there no reason to be intimidated or thinking people are laughing at what your lifting. Well that’s kind of a before and after I guess? Lol

[TheChad]

Much like yourself I grew up being the hardgainer and was always skinning. I was always blessed with the girls tho. In my early teens I got into drugs of all kinds. I didn’t get into working out until I was 19. Been at it over two decades now! I fell In love with it from the first day. I always idled Arnold and Stallone growing up and wanted to be muscular like them. Because of everyone always calling me skinny, I still have issues with always thinking I’m small even if I’m the biggest guy in the room. I don’t feel I will ever be content with my size.

[MrFist]

I’ve been moving and in a big job change so just doing my thing on TRT and keeping it together til moved and settled. I will have to say I never really had the rage/hot head even when on Tren. I feel like I’m less excited for summer month and less confident when not running a good cycle. Also, I felt less depressed and willing to go anywhere and do anything. Even the wife is asking me to please start again cause your an ass !

[MrFist]

Oh, silly me. Forgot the most important part, THE SEX!

[Vision]

That is an absolutely fantastic story man and I actually visioned your entire journey as I was reading.. good stuff man..

For myself the journey long before I even touched any weights. I was also a skinny kid and I was picked on and bullied because of my stutter and a nervous tic. I ended up having behavior problems because of all of my frustrations that were bottled down. I ended up in a school for kids that had behavior problems and for myself during that time was very scary.. I was literally watching the worst of the worst fist fight with each other every day.. long as they were fighting each other and leaving me alone that was all I needed.. then it came time that I was getting picked on, after watching everyone else fist fight all the time I knew I had to throw down, or I was going to be taken advantage of for a long time.. not knowing what I was doing I threw down and I remember the first altercation very well. I was very surprised with how easily I pumbled this supposed badass kid. I was more surprised than everyone else that was watching. Then came the next kid not too long after, and I walked right through him.. how could this be?
There was a couple more instances thereafter and I held my own pretty good. not only did I earn the respect for my peers but I also stuck up for all of the other kids that got picked on . I actually hung out with a lot of the kids that we would call nerds, they were my best friends and they were pretty awesome kids, no one mess with anybody in our little click because of me.
With this new sense of pride I wanted to push it further and I remember looking in a magazine and I seen a weight bench, and I don't know what it was but something in me just wanted it..
That Christmas my mother bought me a weight set that was used from one of her friends.. I can't describe to you that feeling I had when I first laid my eyes on it until this day nothing in life as compared to it besides my children..
My mother's friend also passed down boxes and boxes of bodybuilding magazines from her older son.. I've never seen anything like it.. with my weight bench and these magazines I would just disappear into the tool shed for hours on end every night.. I can still smell the kerosene heater to this day.. I wanted nothing more then to be a monster. But my life was just starting and I had a lot of mistakes to make, and one of them was steroids at the age of 19.. it was foolish, however it turned into the best thing I ever did. I used off and on throughout my twenties ultimately staying on permanently at the latter years of my twenties.. I'm 42 today and I've never came off and almost 15 years.. if you met me, you would never think I had a tic or a stutter as a child.. these aren't things that just go away but you learn how to adapt to them. But I tell people they kind of laugh and Snicker and they don't believe me.. ok , whatever like I'm making it up? Lol..
I have had my ups and downs, my moments of defeat and also my moments of climbing the ranks once again earning my triumph.. I have learned many things in life and I've lost many things in life, and I have replaced them with better things in life.. But ultimately this way of life provided me with the approach and Outlook that I have, whether it's being a field supervisor on construction, or just leading by example and other aspects.. whenever I see or hear a story about an underdog, I don't think anyone can appreciate it as much as I do.. when I hear an underdog talk about his or her story, I am mentally giving them a high-five and a chest bump.. the reality is everyone is an underdog at some degree, what defines us and separates us from the rest is making that clear conscious decision for self improvement, and that goes for anything in life!!

[Jozifp103]

Much like yourself I grew up being the hardgainer and was always skinning. I was always blessed with the girls tho. In my early teens I got into drugs of all kinds. I didn’t get into working out until I was 19. Been at it over two decades now! I fell In love with it from the first day. I always idled Arnold and Stallone growing up and wanted to be muscular like them. Because of everyone always calling me skinny, I still have issues with always thinking I’m small even if I’m the biggest guy in the room. I don’t feel I will ever be content with my size.

Bro I totally hear you. I find myself sizing up other dudes that are half my size and thinking they are bigger than me. I'll be somewhere in public with my fiance and I'll see a dude whom I think is big and tell her "I'll be that big someday." And she'll reply saying I'm already bigger than him. My friends and family always tell my how huge I am but I just don't see it. I'll always be the skinny guy in my own eyes.

[Jozifp103]

That is an absolutely fantastic story man and I actually visioned your entire journey as I was reading.. good stuff man..

For myself the journey long before I even touched any weights. I was also a skinny kid and I was picked on and bullied because of my stutter and a nervous tic. I ended up having behavior problems because of all of my frustrations that were bottled down. I ended up in a school for kids that had behavior problems and for myself during that time was very scary.. I was literally watching the worst of the worst fist fight with each other every day.. long as they were fighting each other and leaving me alone that was all I needed.. then it came time that I was getting picked on, after watching everyone else fist fight all the time I knew I had to throw down, or I was going to be taken advantage of for a long time.. not knowing what I was doing I threw down and I remember the first altercation very well. I was very surprised with how easily I pumbled this supposed badass kid. I was more surprised than everyone else that was watching. Then came the next kid not too long after, and I walked right through him.. how could this be?
There was a couple more instances thereafter and I held my own pretty good. not only did I earn the respect for my peers but I also stuck up for all of the other kids that got picked on . I actually hung out with a lot of the kids that we would call nerds, they were my best friends and they were pretty awesome kids, no one mess with anybody in our little click because of me.
With this new sense of pride I wanted to push it further and I remember looking in a magazine and I seen a weight bench, and I don't know what it was but something in me just wanted it..
That Christmas my mother bought me a weight set that was used from one of her friends.. I can't describe to you that feeling I had when I first laid my eyes on it until this day nothing in life as compared to it besides my children..
My mother's friend also passed down boxes and boxes of bodybuilding magazines from her older son.. I've never seen anything like it.. with my weight bench and these magazines I would just disappear into the tool shed for hours on end every night.. I can still smell the kerosene heater to this day.. I wanted nothing more then to be a monster. But my life was just starting and I had a lot of mistakes to make, and one of them was steroids at the age of 19.. it was foolish, however it turned into the best thing I ever did. I used off and on throughout my twenties ultimately staying on permanently at the latter years of my twenties.. I'm 42 today and I've never came off and almost 15 years.. if you met me, you would never think I had a tic or a stutter as a child.. these aren't things that just go away but you learn how to adapt to them. But I tell people they kind of laugh and Snicker and they don't believe me.. ok , whatever like I'm making it up? Lol..
I have had my ups and downs, my moments of defeat and also my moments of climbing the ranks once again earning my triumph.. I have learned many things in life and I've lost many things in life, and I have replaced them with better things in life.. But ultimately this way of life provided me with the approach and Outlook that I have, whether it's being a field supervisor on construction, or just leading by example and other aspects.. whenever I see or hear a story about an underdog, I don't think anyone can appreciate it as much as I do.. when I hear an underdog talk about his or her story, I am mentally giving them a high-five and a chest bump.. the reality is everyone is an underdog at some degree, what defines us and separates us from the rest is making that clear conscious decision for self improvement, and that goes for anything in life!!

Bro you just hit home so hard when you brought up having tics. I had neurological tics all through my life even now I still have them. It's calmed down as I got older and the twitches are not as intense as they used to be. But man I had a twitch for every moving part on my body. Head shakes, head bobs, wrist bends, excessive blinking, shoulder shrugs, and others. My dad has a video of me playing tee ball when I was 7 or 8. It shows me getting a base hit and when I got to first base I just started tweaking. Like all of my twitches at once. His commentary was hilarious he was like "welp, there he goes. Doin his little nervous dance." Then it transitioned to "The power of Christ compels you!" haha. I still tweak out a bit when I'm stressed, nervous, or in deep concentration. My fiance will be next to me on the couch staring at me as I do my weird face and head twitches during an intense scene of a show.